


save me the agony

by cherrychoke



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Drinking, Fluff without Plot, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Some Plot, odd narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:55:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22269040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrychoke/pseuds/cherrychoke
Summary: everyone knows homophobia is a bitch, but internalized homophobia is (bitch-er?) worse.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 10
Kudos: 26





	save me the agony

First impressions aren’t really Jongin’s strong suit. But he dresses up in layers, only because it’s Kyungsoo best friend, and said best friend might become a reason why Jongin can’t ask Kyungsoo out. What if this best friend likes Kyungsoo, too? What if Kyungsoo cares about what his best friend thinks, and this best friend doesn’t like Jongin? He can’t risk it, even though it doesn’t seem like Kyungsoo is that kind of person.

He wears his light blue jeans, a white t-shirt tucked in, and his light brown coat — it looks like he made a lot of effort, when in reality he hasn’t. He wears a black belt with it, wears his only dark blue watch to look better than he already is. He combs his hair back, and flips it forward, to make it seem like that’s how his hair stands even without combing.

He walks out of his small room with confidence, but Kyungsoo’s amused look makes him take a step back. Kyungsoo chuckles. “That’s a lot of effort, Chanyeol doesn’t deserve it.”

_ But you do _ , Jongin thinks, his heart beating rapidly as Kyungsoo checks him out shamelessly. Kyungsoo doesn’t think it’s rude to check anyone out, especially if they’ve dressed good — ‘It’ll make their day better if I tell them I like their outfit, anyway.’ Kyungsoo says. 

Jongin grabs his pathetically thin wallet, puts it in his jeans’ back pocket, some part of him hoping Kyungsoo is still watching him. Jongin glances at Kyungsoo, and he isn’t. Jongin feels his stomach twist a little, he shakes it away quickly. He pockets his phone after checking the time, then looks at Kyungsoo.

“You have the dorm key, right, hyung?”

Kyungsoo smiles at him, nods, and holds the keys up to show him. “Ready?”

Jongin nods. He follows Kyungsoo out of their room, staring at the back of Kyungsoo’s neck, he wonders if he’ll ever get to wrap his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist and nuzzle his nose against the smooth neck.

***

He instantly dislikes Chanyeol.

His laughter is too loud, he leans too close in when Kyungsoo is showing him something, he makes music which makes Jongin want to dance, and his ears stick out when he wears the cap. He strongly dislikes Chanyeol — 99% because Kyungsoo clearly likes Chanyeol better. 

Kyungsoo insults Chanyeol like there is no tomorrow, but he does it while adjusting Chanyeol’s clothes, or while absent-mindedly patting his thigh, or looking at Chanyeol like he’s a beautiful little flower.

“I don’t know if you know this person,” Jongin fishes out his phone, trying his best to keep up with the conversation, he opens his favourite music-producer’s youtube channel. “But I like his style a lot, it’s something like a mix of jazz and lo-fi.”

Chanyeol moves closer to Jongin, he leans into Jongin’s personal space, and squints at the phone.

“Get your glasses, idiot.” Kyungsoo laughs.

Jongin notices how Chanyeol’s laughter is more contagious than Kyungsoo’s.

***

It’s 3:28 am, Jongin desperately wants to sleep, but the fact that his crush on Kyungsoo no longer exists— or rather, has transferred from Kyungsoo to Chanyeol, keeps him awake.

It isn’t about a crush. It’s the fact that Jongin, for the 4 years he’s known that he likes boys too, was 100% sure he had a very specific type. He likes people like Kyungsoo -- mostly quiet, shorter than him, on the bulkier side, with a mild sense of style. All his crushes and one ex-boyfriend fit this category. He never batted an eye if he felt anything towards anyone other than his type.

He felt just a blink of sleep when he was whining to Tao about it, but he went to sleep a whole hour ago, and Jongin is left with his thoughts. He’s thinking and thinking and thinking about something — anything about Chanyeol which can fit into his ‘type’ category.

Chanyeol is just a little taller than him, he can talk for a whole crowd, he’s more lean than bulky, and he likes to risk it with fashion. Just yesterday, when they met up for another hangout, he wore a bright red shoe, with full-white outfit. It looked good, but it’s more of a hit-or-miss kind of style.

He texts Tao. [ _ he isn’t my type, why the fuck do I have a crush on him?] _

_ [you’re allowed to like people outside your ‘type’, you know.] _ Tao replies instantly.  _ [it might be internalized homophobia, but it’s OK. you like chanyeol. period.] _

_ [thought you were sleeping?] _ Jongin reads Tao’s text over and over again, trying to grasp it in. It’s okay. It could be internalized homophobia. He’s allowed to like Chanyeol.

_ [your text woke me up :/] _

Jongin giggles.  _ [liar :D] _

***

Next time he sees Chanyeol, it’s at a club, to celebrate his and Kyungsoo’s 6th year of friendship. Jongin thinks it’s a little silly, but when Chanyeol laughs and says he didn’t expect Kyungsoo to keep him for so long, Kyungsoo raises his bottle and says, “Same. How are you still around, Chanyeol?”

“Magic!” Chanyeol giggles. He leans into Jongin’s personal space again, his giggling makes Jongin giggle too. They end up laughing for a good minute. Chanyeol is clearly tipsy. Jongin isn’t drinking tonight.

Tipsy Chanyeol, sadly, is more touchy than sober Chanyeol, and he spaces out a lot. Chanyeol drapes his arm around Jongin’s shoulders, and kisses his cheek. “You’re so sweet, Jonginie.”

“Thanks,” Jongin pretends to wipe the wetness lingering on his cheek, and nudges Chanyeol away. “You’re okay, Chanyeol-hyung.”

It makes Kyungsoo laugh loudly. “There it is! That’s the truth, Chanyeol-ah!”

Chanyeol’s lips form a big, big pout. He turns to Jongin, his lips so, so close to Jongin’s. “That isn’t true! Kyungsoo is just being mean, right? I’m very lovable, aren’t I?”

“Yeah,” Jongin mutters, looking (just once!) at Chanyeol’s pouty lips. He says it just loud enough for Chanyeol to hear. “You’re very lovable.”

Chanyeol looks at him, confused. “Why are you whispering?”

“Because,” Jongin leans in, controlling his urge to kiss Chanyeol. “It’s our secret, Kyungsoo-hyung can’t know, okay?”

Chanyeol’s pout becomes bigger. He looks exactly like a puppy, and Jongin can’t help but pet the back of his head. Kyungsoo joins in without a second thought. He looks at Kyungsoo, and his eyes become bigger. “But I tell Kyungsoo everything.”

“Oh I know,” Kyungsoo glances at Jongin, his smile faded. “I know the secret, Chanyeol, you don’t have to tell me.”

Jongin would’ve felt relief, but Kyungsoo’s lost smile makes him uncomfortable. He isn’t drinking like either of them, which makes it harder. He needs to be here, to make sure both are okay, but the grim line of Kyungsoo’s lips makes him wonder if Kyungsoo is homophobic. 

_ No, wait, _ Jongin thinks. He blinks at Kyungsoo. He’s talked to Jongin about a boyfriend before. He can’t be homophobic. Maybe he doesn’t like Jongin? Then why did he introduce him to Chanyeol in the first place? Maybe he—

“Jonginie,” Kyungsoo calls, a playful smile on his lips. He finishes his bottle of beer, and nods. “It’s pretty obvious. And I think I’ve suffered enough, you should probably do it.”

Chanyeol looks even more confused. Jongin moves away from Chanyeol, whispers into Kyungsoo’s ear. “What are you talking about?”

“That—”

Jongin puts his mouth near Kyungsoo’s mouth. Chanyeol might be drunk, but who knows if he’ll remember anything or not. Jongin can’t risk it. 

Kyungsoo lowers his voice. “You like Chanyeollie, don’t you? Unless you have heart-eyes on every tall guy.”

Jongin’s face becomes warm. He decides to just nod instead of saying anything. Kyungsoo grins, victorious.

“What are you both whispering about?” Chanyeol whines. He moves next to Kyungsoo, leans against Kyungsoo’s body. “I want to know, Soo-ya.”

“I was telling Jongin about your 0.3 IQ,” Kyungsoo clicks his tongue, shoves Chanyeol away. But he holds Chanyeol’s hand, to make sure he doesn’t actually fall. He pats Chanyeol’s lower back. “A snail is smarter than you, Chanyeollie.”

And just like that, Jongin acquires another person to whine about his crush on Chanyeol.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it's for a person i've suddenly grown fond of for no reason or background at all! you're lovely thank you for supporting me :D <3 this is my first time writing long-ish chankai, i hope this is ok! turns out, i CAN write chankai so maybe i'll write more of them in the future~ i'm feeling chatty today, this one is something i talked with this person around a month ago? in december for sure, and it's finally over! i had a whole different idea, and thought of ending it with chankai getting together but i didn't really want to go all the way there so ehhhhhh
> 
> i hope you like it!!! please let me know if you did!! <33
> 
> (my [twitter](https://twitter.com/royalkjmyeon) and [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/cherrykims) , if you'd like to talk~)


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